SONG: Macavity: The Mystery Cat
ARTIST: Andrew Lloyd Webber
From the musical, Cats
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Macavity's a mystery cat, he's called the hidden paw
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For he's the master criminal who can defy the law
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He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair
For when they reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!
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Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
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He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity
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His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare
But when you reach the scene of crime Macavity's not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air
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But I tell you once and once again Macavity's not there!
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Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin
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You would know him if you saw him for his eyes are sunken in
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly domed
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed
He sways his head from side to side with movements like a snake
And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake
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Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
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For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
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You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!
He's outwardly respectable, I know he cheats at cards
And his footprints are not found in any files of Scotland Yard's
And when the larder's looted or the jewel case is rifled
Or when the milk is missing or another peke's been stifled
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Or the greenhouse glass is broken and the trellis past repair
There's the wonder of the thing Macavity's not there!
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Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
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There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity
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He always has an alibi and one or two to spare
What ever time the deed took place Macavity wasn't there!
And when the Foreign Office find a Treaty's gone astray
Or the Admiralty lose some plans or drawings by the way
And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:
"It must have been Macavity!" but he's a mile away!
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You'll be sure to find him resting or alicking of his thumbs,
or engaged in doing complicated long division sums
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Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
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There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity
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He always has an alibi and one or two to spare
What ever time the deed took place Macavity wasn't there!
And they say that all the cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Mungojerrie, Rumpleteazer, Griddlebone)
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Are nothing more than agents for the cat who all the time
Just controls the operations: the Napoleon of crime!
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Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity
- - - -
For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity
- - -
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square
But when a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!
When a crime's discovered then Macavity's not there!