SONG: The Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles
ARTIST: Andrew Lloyd Webber
From the musical, Cats
Jellicle cats meet once a year
on the night we make the Jellicle choice and
now that the Jellicle leader is here
Jellicle cats can all rejoice
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-
Of the awful battle of the pekes and the pollicles
Together with some account Of the participation of the pugs and the poms
And the intervention of the great Rumpus Cat!!!
The pekes and the pollicles everyone knows
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Are a proud and implacable passionate foes
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It is always the same whereever one goes
And the Pugs and the Poms although most people say
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That they do not like fighting yet once in a way
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They will now and again join into the fray and they
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
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Until you could hear them all over the park and they
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
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Until you could hear them all over the park
Now on the occassion of which I shall speak
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Almost nothing had happened for nearly a week
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And that's a long time for a Pol or a Peke
The big police dog was away from his beat
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I don't know the reason but most people think
- - - -
He slipped into the Wellington Arms for a drink
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And no one at all was about on the street
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When a Peke and a Pollicle happened to meet
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They did not advance or exactly retreat
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But they glared at each other and scraped their hind feet and they started to
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
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Until you could hear them all over the park
Now the Peke although people may say what they please
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Is no British dog but a heathen Chinese
And so all the Pekes when they heard the uproar
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Some came to the window, some came to the door
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There were surely a dozen more likely a score
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And together they started to grumble and wheeze
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In their huffery-snuffery heathen Chinese
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But a terrible din is what Pollicles like
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For your Pollicle dog is a dour Yorkshire tyke
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There are dogs out of every nation
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the Irish, the Welsh and the Dane:
The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmatian,
- - - -
and even from China and Spain.
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The Poodle, the Pom, the Alsatian
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And the Mastiff who walks on a chain.
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And to those that are frisky and frolical,
Let my meaning be perfectly plain:
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That my name it is little Tom Pollicle,
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and you'd better not do it again!"
And his braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters
And every dog-jack of them notable fighters
And so they stepped out with their pipers in order
Playing "When the Blue Bonnets Come Over The Border"
(2 bars)
(2 bars)
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Then the Pugs and the Poms held no longer aloof
-
But some from the balcony some from the roof joined into the din with a
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
- - - -
Until you could hear them all over the park
Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark
- - - -
Until you could hear them all over the park
Now when these bold hereos together assembled
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The traffic all stopped and the underground trembled
And some of the neighbours were so much afraid
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That they started to ring up the Fire Brigade!
- - - -
When suddenly up from a small basement flat
- --
Why who should stalk out but the Great Rumpus Cat!!!!
His eyes were like fireballs fearfully blazing
He gave a great yawn and his jaws were amazing
And when he looked out through the bars of the area
You never saw anything fiercer....
...Or hairier
And what with a glare of his eyes and his yawning
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The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning
He looked at the sky and he gave a great leap
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And they every last one of them scattered like sheep!
(2 bars)
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- - - -
And when the Police dog returned to his beat
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There wasn't a single one left on the street!
All hail and all power to the Great Rumpus Cat!!!!
Jellicle cats and dogs all must
Pollicle dogs and cats all must
Like undertakers come to dust
(Macavity)
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